Toxic Relationships
In a healthy relationship, everything just kind of works. You may disagree from time to time or happen upon a few bumps in the road. Still, you generally make decisions together, openly discuss any problems that arise, and genuinely enjoy each other’s company.
Toxic relationships are another story. In an unhealthy relationship, you may consistently feel drained or unhappy after spending time with your partner. Maybe the relationship no longer feels enjoyable, though you still love your partner. For some reason, you always seem to rub each other the wrong way or can’t seem to stop arguing over minor issues. You might even dread seeing them, instead of looking forward to it as you did in the past.
What are the signs of a toxic relationship?
Maybe the relationship no longer feels enjoyable, though you still love your partner. For some reason, you always seem to rub each other the wrong way or can’t seem to stop arguing over minor issues. You might even dread seeing them, instead of looking forward to it as you did in the past.
Lack of support
Lack of communication
Jealousy or envy
Controlling behaviors
Resentment
Dishonesty
Disrespect
Negative financial behaviors
Constant stress
Ignoring your needs/ lack of self care
Hope for change- this is a big one. You might stay in the relationship because you remember how much fun you had initially. Maybe you think that if you change yourself and your actions, they’ll also change.
Is it possible to fix a toxic relationship?
Many people assume toxic relationships are doomed, but that isn’t always the case.
The deciding factor? Both partners must want to change, If only one partner is invested in creating healthy patterns, there is — unfortunately — little likelihood that change will occur.
Acceptance of responsibility
Willingness to invest
Shift from blaming to understanding
Openness to outside help
Remember that a Toxic Relationships aren’t just with a partner or significant other.
It can be with family members, friends, co-workers.
Simply seeing an incoming call from a parent triggers you. an anxiety attack that dates back to childhood. Toxic family dynamics can have a far reaching impact on our lives as adults. most often a toxic person is the product of a toxic environment themselves—so they often aren’t even aware of their own harmful patterns.
They make cruelly critical remarks.
They give you the silent treatment.
They lie—or deny.
They generalize during disagreements.
They sow conflict with other family members.
They change the subject to turn the tables on you.
They make you feel bad about feeling bad.
They move the goal posts.
They use threats, harsh language, or violence.
They’re a master of passive-aggressive behavior.
They make your business your great-aunt Lydia's business.
They gaslight you.
They ignore boundaries.
Remember at the end of the day we all have some sort of trauma that we are dealing with. Forgiveness isn’t for them, it’s for your peace of mind. Parents may be raising you through their own unresolved trauma. Unable to teach youcertain skills beacuse no one taught them. Doing the best they could whith what they knew and had.
At the end of the day you have no control over someone else's behavior, but you can work on your own reaction to it.
How can you move forward?
Don’t dwell on the past
View the other person with compassion
Ask for help and find support- Coaching, therapy, and counciling can be great resources.
Practice healthy communication
Be accountable
Heal individually
Hold space for the other’s change
Always remember.. there is a difference between abuse and toxicity. There’s never an excuse for abusive behavior.
The National Domestic Violence Hotline provides services at no cost and offers 24/7 chat and phone support.
I am always here to listen.
💖Casey
