Navigating the Holidays
Are you finding that you are feeling a little more stressed than usual? You are definitely not alone.
The American Psychological Association reports that 89% of Americans are experiencing higher than normal overwhelm and stress during the holidays.
It can be hard to cope, especially if we have lost a loved one and you are missing them just a little extra.
When we find ourselves becoming overwhelmed we need to be mindful of what we are feeling, give ourselves some grace and be sure that we are coping in the best way possible for ourselves and our loved ones.
It doesn’t have to be the most stressful time of the year.
Here are 10 tips to help navigate through the holidays
1. Check in with yourself
One way to manage your reactions is to check in with yourself regularly. “It is a way to monitor your emotional state and see how you are doing. You can think of it as a stress, anxiety or mood scale. You rank what you are feeling from one to ten, and when you are at a certain level — whatever you decide — you take a break. Do something you enjoy and find relaxing. Listen to music, exercise, do deep breathing, or do whatever activity or hobby you enjoy. The idea is to develop self-awareness so you can engage in self-care before reaching an emotional breaking (or boiling) point.
2. Don’t over schedule yourself
The holiday season is a time of parties and other social gatherings. Remember that you don't have to do it all. Figure out what you really enjoy versus what you feel you’re supposed to do.
Focus the majority of your energy and time on activities that are fun for you. Do your best to limit or avoid those activities that are less enjoyable. Your happiness is an important consideration in planning how you spend your time.
3. Manage gift giving
For many, the holidays are a time of gift giving. This can be a lot of fun, but it can also be financially stressful. Do your best to make a budget and stay within the spending limits that you have set.
You're not obligated to spend beyond your means, and you will very likely regret it if you do. Even a small gift lets people know you cherish them. Bigger is not necessarily better. Consider making gifts, instead of buying. Thoughtful handmade gifts and homemade goodies are often appreciated. And the process of preparing them can become a fun holiday tradition for you.
4. Enjoy family on your terms
While it can be enjoyable to see family during the holidays, some people find extended family time to be stressful. Do whatever you need to do to take care of yourself. If necessary, take a break from the gathering. Go for a walk. Call someone you enjoy talking to. Take some alone time if you need it.
5. Respect differences
We all have different perspectives on a variety of things. There's quite a lot that can divide us and bring tension to social gatherings. Do your best to find and focus on our common ground. We are all better off when we seek peace and understanding with one another. If your efforts to maintain harmony are not as effective as you would like in minimizing conflict, setting a clear boundary and/or taking a break from the interaction can be effective ways to reduce negativity.
6. Take time for yourself
Consider giving yourself the gift of time during the holidays. Take a break from the rushing around, the shopping, the cooking, and the cleaning. Set aside time to read a good book, watch your favorite movie, go for a bike ride or take a nap.
7. Honor the losses of the year
The holidays can be especially challenging for those of us who have lost loved ones. Be sure to make space for your grief. Consider changing up your traditions to make your feelings of loss more manageable. You can also find a new way to weave in the memory of your loved one into your existing holiday traditions.
8. Share the happy memories
In addition to stress, the holidays can also be a time of grief as people are aware of loved ones who have passed away. You don’t want to submerge yourself in grief, but it is not useful to just ignore it because you are still going to feel it. Try reminiscence therapy- the idea is to acknowledge loss and grief but not dwell on the sad memories. Just focus on the happy memories. I encourage people to give gratitude and celebrate that person. Talk about them, reminisce, tell stories.”
9.Don't forget routine maintenance- self care!
Get plenty of sleep. Eat regularly. Exercise. Get a massage. Take a bath. Meditate. Journal. Don't forget to breathe.
10. Reach out if you need help
If you know that this time of year is typically hard for you, lean on your friends and family. Talk to them about how you're feeling and let them help you set boundaries and practice self-care.
Sometimes you need someone to help talk you through how to set and enforce boundaries. If you think talking with a coach could be helpful, call me at315-775-8480 to schedule an appointment
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Casey
